I’m not sure how your finances are looking this year but in case you have a few bob stashed away somewhere, because you have the elves on minimum wage, and have not being paying their union fees, then could I put in a request?
The thing here is that it’s not so much for my benefit, but for Ms Jones (my sewing machine). She has been a real trouper and constant companion for the last 20 or so years but I really fear that the arthritis which has been bothering her is starting to set in. You see her presser foot, which we have been taping up for quite some time now, has really started to deteriorate. In fact just this morning the tape holding her altogether came apart and her insides started to spill out all over the carpet. I did get in a bit of a state, and the men that are working on putting our tv in, must have wondered why I was on the floor talking to my sewing machine. I was really just trying to keep Ms Jones calm whilst I put all her bits back together. She is want to sudden outbursts you see, so a calming tone is sometimes necessary.
The duct tape seems to have held it in for the moment, but there is a creak to her crank shaft now. Ms Jones really does try to soldier on but sometimes she just slows down for no reason, and then at other times just forgets to stop altogether. As I said she is want to sudden outbursts and I ‘m reluctant to use the word out loud in front of her but do you think sewing machines can suffer from Alzheimer’s?
Anyway Santa I hope this finds you and Mrs Santa and all your lovely little elves in good health? I won’t keep you as I know you must be flat to the boards, with all those demands from those delightful children, whom, may I just point out are probably only just starting to behave themselves because they know the big "two five" of December is fast approaching.
I, on the other hand have been consistently behaving myself. (Apart from that one occasion after a couple too many wines, when I got a bit lout but I went to confession the other day so I’m all good.)
Take Care and give my best to the Reindeer.