Monday, 16 March 2009

believe it or not ...

I actually have done a wee bit of sewing. Don't get too excited though, because I'm not breaking any records here.

These little fellas who have been waiting for ages to be finished.

And these bottle top pin cushions, with a little embroidered seedling. I havent even finished them, but I might do. One day.

See... I told you not to get too excited.

Friday, 13 March 2009

This recession is biting deep...

Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money. I started crying when I thought of you.

Run my crazy little friend, run!

Well, what can I say???
Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone!!

Wednesday, 11 March 2009


You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.
This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next? When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.
Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you? THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband. I thought this was too 'important' not to pass on Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes! How do they do it????

You can call me Mrs Busy

Even with my broken neck. (Weeeell, it feels like it!) I was a parent helper on Anna's school trip to Murphys Bush. I have to say my little group was very well behaved. Maybe they sensed I can be a grumpy parent helper, and probably because Anna has given them the heads up on her mother's short fuse. And what is it about school trips that makes you come home and need a strong cup of tea and a good lie down?
Seriously I do not know how teachers do it. They can't be paid enough so it must be a vocation!

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Not Camp Mother or Camp Leader...

No I am not Camp Mother. Someone has to stay home and look after number 4 child! But yesterday I loosened the apron strings a bit, and waved Nick off from the Hall at Owairoa Primary, as he set off for a week at Camp Raglan. The two older kids who are now nearly 21 and 18 both went, when they were at the school, but I felt a little pang when I waved Nick off. Not that he could care. I made sure I gave him a huge hug and kiss at home, because I know he would have been mortified should I display any outward signs of affection in the school hall! It was a bit of a ruffle of the hair and a "see ya Mate" departure. He hardly acknowledged it!!! But I suppose you have to hang on to every skerrick of credibility when surrounded by 120 of your peers!
He was up and dressed at 6am because:
"Mum, we have to be in the hall NO LATER than 8.15!"
And then because it was a special occasion I let him have a play on the computer, before we left. TV and computers are a no go area on school mornings. Something to do with their brains not switching on properly if they watch TV before school. (I must watch too much TV then!)

So all packed and ready to go....

And just in case...

Really, they should be called Bus Legs!

I then got a call from the school at about 11am saying Anna was feeling sick, so I had to go and pick her up from the sick bay. She does have a cold, and a very blocked nose. But I think it was more of a "Mental Health Issue". She had a bit of a gob on her when we left Nick all excited and in mufti, with a big shiny bus waiting by the school gate to whisk them off for a week of fun and no times tables, so I'm guessing it wasn't all about "The Cold"

I'm am very grateful now that I didn't go to Camp, because I have done something very nasty to my neck, and am currently doing a dodgy looking thunder birds impression, because I have that whole, moving the whole body to turn around thing, going on. Anyway I'm off to try and untangle those strings!