Just venting....

To Whom it may Concern

I was issued a parking ticket in Howick on 21/07/2010.

At the time I was maxing out my husbands credit card at Sirroco Hair Salon, which is adjacent to the parking lot.

I was unable to move my car. I mean really unable to.

For the pleasure of supporting local businesses, I dont know if you are aware of the anxiety and worry that getting a parking ticket in Howick causes to the locals. There are so many of us trying to cover up our greys now that it's a six week wait at best to get a decent colourist. I fall into the catergory of having to colour my hair. Let me explain the imprisonment process.

This procedure requires the humiliation of having to cover your head in lots and lots of squares of tin foil (which incidentaly takes the best part of five Woman's weekly's and a Next magazine cover to cover to try and read, and also renders one partially sighted for the duration). I was unable to escape the confines of the foils let alone the salon to move my car.

After the foils are removed you have to suffer the indignity of wet hair dripping down your neck, while the sylists weilds very sharp scizzors so close to your ears that you don't dare breath, never mind mention that you might like to catch pnemonia and the indignation of half cut hair, so you can dash, like the Schwarzkopfed caped crusader to the car park to move your car 2 spots over.

My appointment was at 10 oclock, and I try to time it as close to the appointment time as is possible to avoid eating into my "Parking Allowance". My parking fine was issued at 12.36 and I got back to my car at around 1.00, so could you please explain to me how in future I will be able to avoid getting a parking fine?

I wait in anticipation for your reply.

Yours sincerely

Remembering...

A poem written by my husband Mike in 1969 - aged 13 years.

It was a day like today my son, from out of the bright blue sky.
A day like today my son, when millions of people did die.
They came from high above my son, like eagles diving for their prey.
And not a single one was left my son.
Except for you and I...


Remembering the ANZACS, and the sacrifices they made for us...

"They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the evening
we will remember them."
— From the Anzac Day Service

Good Wifes Guide

There has been a spate of emails going around titled Good Wifes Guide. I feel I need to redress the balance somewhat so have made up my own Guidelines for the modern Housewife.

Good Housekeeping
A wife’s guide for 2008
By Liz Jury©

· Have dinner ready. Line up several takeaway menus next to the Visa bill on the breakfast bar. This is a way of letting him know that you have been at least thinking about dinner. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. Therefore make sure you phone your take-away order in ahead of time ensuring he can collect it on his way home from work.

· Prepare yourself. Get changed into your old trackies or those comfy pyjamas, and pour yourself a glass of wine.

· Be gay. Remember its okay to add a bit of spice to your marriage. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

· Clear away the clutter. Make sure your coffee group friends have all gone home before your husband arrives, and pour yourself another glass of wine.

· Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc, and pop them all on the dining room table until someone claims them.

· Over the cooler months of the year, don’t forget to wear your big rabbit slippers, they are comfy and will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Pour yourself a glass of wine.

· Prepare the children. Remind them not to tell Daddy about the dent in the rear bumper of the car, which happened that afternoon at the mall, or they can forget about getting that playstation game.

· Be Happy to see him. Especially if he brings wine with the dinner.

· Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire. The wine should help here.

· Listen to him. Blathering on and on about his day. Remember, to him his topics of conversation are more important than yours. You may need to pour another glass of wine at this stage.

· Make the evening his. And remind him that the kids need a bath and hair wash before he reads them their bedtime stories. After that he might like to load the dishwasher.

· Your goal. Ah... have another glass of wine.
· Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. You are probably becoming a little incoherent at this stage, but what the hell open another bottle.

· Make him comfortable. Offer him a glass of wine.

· Arrange his pillow, and then lie back and watch Coronation Street.

· Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement. It will be enough for him trying to recall why the hell he married you in the first place.

· A good wife always knows her place. Credit card in one hand, glass of wine in the other.